So I have had a lot of generalized anxiety lately. I have had enough therapy over the years to know what it is and I know the things I need to do to manage it. But anxiety is tricky and I know it was impacting more than just my mind. Plus I had a very busy week with helping our son move into his new house, working at Drumlin and babysitting the girls.
A week of physical and emotional stress resulted in me throwing out my back. I went to pick up a relatively light crate of carrots while doing distribution at Drumlin farm and I heard something go “POP”. That did not sound good and I was fearful remembering the time in my 40s when I herniated a disc and was crippled for a few months. But the back pain did not seem that bad and felt more like a pulled muscle. The sort of thing ice, rest and stretching would help. And it did. So Friday I went off to babysit the girls. I was careful to not pick up the baby who fortunately is very willing to walk while holding hands. But Saturday I was considerably worse and a doctors visit confirmed age related back issues. These spines of ours did not evolve to be beneficial to our survival after 50 years.
I must say I am angry to be in this state. I want to be with my grand girls and be active. I want to be working at Drumlin. I want to go to NYC for the opening of the Prince Street Gallery Show. And none of my anger was helped this morning when this is what I woke up on in the Guardian.
So here I sit getting anxious about the future. We get distracted by other issues and ignore the fact that nothing matters if we don’t have a planet that is habitable.